Enter the Kirin

Several years passed, and things were all going according to the foxes plan, with a few minor exceptions that were quickly removed from the equation. A lot of animals were starting to forget how to transform which made them easy to deal with, and those that could still transform were either eliminated by the foxes or agreements were made to pacify them. None showed the level of cunning that the foxes had, and as expected the humans were starting to run low on food stocks because of the greedy raccoons, meaning every day the foxes' advantage grew. Though one day, this would all change.

It was a vibrant Spring day, as cherry blossoms fell from the trees. The humans were preparing to plant their crops with the aid of a few raccoons, but before they could do so there was a commotion as a group of creatures were heading towards the town in a slow procession. Everyone gathered to watch them come in, as they were all hooded though quite clearly humanoid, and the patches of skin that could be seen had very faint darker spots. They seemed quite oblivious of the crowd that gathered, and continued at their relaxed pace to the centre of town and the elder's home, proceeding to create a circle around the entrance as one of their number moved forward- a creature notably larger than his companions. The elder was waiting at the door to greet them and walked up to the man that was apparently their leader. The group bowed at him as he approached, including the leader who stayed bowed as the human approached.
'Greetings on behalf of the humans,' said the elder, 'which creatures do we have the pleasure of meeting today?'
The creature in front of him stayed bowed, not saying a word. The elder could just make out the cloaked figure's eyes under his hood that seemed to be looking straight through him. The circle around him were still looking in his direction with their heads lowered, as the humans and raccoons watched and whispered amongst each other, trading opinions on the strange creatures.
'Alright then... What brings you to our village then?'
The cloaked figure said a word, though barely audible. All the figures remained bowed, which the elder was growing increasingly concerned about- what a moment ago was reverential respect, now seemed like veiled threat.
'Excuse me? You will have to speak up.'
The sound the creature made was surprisingly high pitch for such a masculine figure, and came out as a kind of whine that sounded as though the creature was not entirely comfortable with speaking in this form. Again, it was just a single word though this time it was clear what was being said.
'Laaand.'
'I'm sorry, we have no land to offer,' said the elder becoming nervous, 'we already have arrangements with the-'
He was cut off mid sentence as the creature in front of him screeched out a painful cry that hurt the human's ears.
'Land! You... will give us laand.'
'I think you should leave. We certainly don't want to deal with beasts that won't even show themselves in front of us.'
Another unusual sound came from the bowed man, and several of those surrounding him were starting to shift on their feet uneasily. The leader of the animals was shifting under his cloak as his body was getting bigger and more elongated, clearly shifting into a quadruped shape. Something like horns were starting to protrude from his hood, as the elder backed away until he bumped into his closed door. Some of the other animals were starting to transform as well, and the crowded humans and raccoons were starting to panic, some rooted to the spot entranced and some starting to run.
'Why are you...' started the elder as the creature in front of him revealed his true form, bucking the cloak off his back as he fully revealed his antlers before immediately charging at the elder, impaling him against his own door. Those others that had transformed started charging at the crowd with their antlers, as those that remained human drew blades. The elder started coughing up blood as he looked at the blazing eyes in front of him and attempted to speak.
'You are... Kirin?'
The deer snorted, pushing deeper into the wood, further crushing the elder.
'But Kirin are... peaceful? Why...?'
And with that, the elder gave one last cough before slumping over the deer's antlers, lifeless. The deer pulled himself free and observed the chaos around him before transforming back into human form. He spoke to the body of the elder, still struggling to talk.
'Not all creatures as in legend, hunter.'
He issued another blood-curdling shriek that caught the attention of all around, and the deer calmly returned to their leader's side. Little blood had been spilled as the deer only killed those that fought back, but most humans were intelligent enough to run and hide. The raccoons were long gone, having run back to their own village. The leader of the deer called for the attention of the humans and issued his decree.
'Kirin own village now. You help us. Hunter now servant. If fight, hunter die like alpha.'
The humans tried to make sense of the deer's broken language in their confused and panic stricken states, and many started to kneel. One stepped forward to speak with the leader.
'I am Kenshin, I advised the previous elder.' Kenshin bowed to the deer. 'I am humbled by your presence, Kirin.'
The deer bowed back before speaking.
'You command, hunter?'
'I will try to explain your will.'

And so the deer explained to Kenshin about how humans continued to hunt the deer when they first transformed despite their clear intelligence. The deer soon became tired of constantly running and hiding from humans, so took the offensive to reclaim their land from the hunters- then the land could be returned to the animals, and it would be the turn of the humans to be used as labouring animals. The deer didn't want to become violent, but knew fear worked much better than negotiation, hence only killing the leader and those that got in the way. Kenshin could understand their point of view, but was confused by one point- humans had made an agreement with the foxes and raccoons that they would not hunt anything and instead concentrate solely on farming, but because foxes could communicate better with other animals then they would be able to accurately judge which were suitable for hunting. Kenshin also explained that the humans were not happy with how the foxes were taking advantage of them at every possibility, as humans were too frightened of the Kitsune's power. The deer scoffed at this, saying they had no such powers- the deer were aware of their legend as Kirin which meant they should be able to spout flames from their mouths amongst other things, and that the whole idea was ridiculous. The same would hold true for foxes, who only gained transforming ability at the same time as everything else and certainly didn't have any kind of magic. It soon became evident to both of them that the foxes had played them both for fools, abusing their reputation as Kitsune to control the humans and pretending to be human as they hunted to deceive the deer. And so it was decided that if the humans could keep up the charade of being invaded by deer who abused their own reputation as Kirin, then they would be able to play the foxes at their own game.

The Tanuki and the Kitsune- part two, Year of the Kitsune

Hikaru and Taichi left the library building, as the village elder was still trying to deal with the other less intelligent animals that were causing chaos. He looked up as the fox and raccoon approached, relieved that he could delegate the task of shooing the animals away to someone else.
'My apologies for the wait, sir,' said the kitsune, 'it has been some time since foxes and raccoons have spoken. We have made negotiations amongst ourselves, we just need to see if you will agree with where humans fit in. Firstly, we kitsune will not be content to live as animals any more. We intend to set up our own towns and will live alongside humans. We will defend ourselves if we need to, but I'm sure it won't come to that, will it my friend?'
The human wasn't sure he liked the idea of this, but the look in the fox's eyes implied that if he disagreed then the fox wouldn't hesitate to take this already established and thriving community through force of tooth and claw. The elder managed to force a weak smile.
'Of course. We won't stop you, great kitsune. I too hope that we will live peacefully for many years. What of the tanuki? Will they form their own towns?' The elder hoped not. It was hard enough feeding themselves, let alone sharing with foxes and it would be almost impossible if raccoons were involved too.
'They have a different plan, tell them Taichi.'
'Um... yes, well, er,' Taichi tried to control his instinct to flee, as he was surrounded by essentially two dangerous predators. He gulped, and attempted to remember the fox's words in the library. 'We are happy to remain in our burrows, and will act as interpreters for the animals that are less used to humans.' He glanced at Hikaru, who grinned. 'Er, on the condition that we are given enough food to live, and that intelligent creatures are not hunted.'
The human nodded, and thought for a moment before giving his reply.
'It will be difficult, as we rely on many of these animals for food. However, we have much farmland, and as we have had foxes killing our livestock in the past, it is clear that they are efficient hunters. We will give food to the tanuki, and allow the kitsune to develop, but only if the tanuki help us around our village- I expect our food supplies will run low under these new circumstances, so we will need something in exchange- and we will give some of our land to the kitsune if the kitsune are willing to give us a share of the meat they hunt.'
'These conditions seem reasonable to me,' said Hikaru, 'on the counter condition that you help us with supplies to build our village as well. The one-time donation of land is not sufficient to justify us giving our hard-gotten food away indefinitely.'
The elder got the impression that the fox mentally added 'not when it can be taken by force' to the end of his sentence.
'Very well, then we have an agreement? Our land and timber to the kitsune in exchange for meat, and the tanuki's labour in exchange for crops? And I would also like to add that we only give what we can afford, we always keep enough to ensure the survival of humans, even at the expense of foxes and raccoons.'
'Very well.' said Hikaru. Both the fox and human's eyes turned to the raccoon, whose eyes had slightly glazed over in the discussion. He realised he was expected to say something, and quickly nodded.
'Yes, yes of course!'
'Excellent, so glad things have worked out so amicably!' said Hikaru with a certain glee, 'Without further ado, I shall return to my cohorts and inform them of the plan.'
And so he gathered his companions and set off out of town, back to the fox's den.
'I, er, I should be going too...' said Taichi, rushing off in raccoon form before the human could reply, leaving his clothes to fall to the floor and the sake bottle smashing on the ground.

On returning to the burrow, Taichi's family were not happy to hear that they would have to start working for their food. However, it meant they had a steady supply of food, and would not have to worry about the foxes any more. They would have to train themselves to deal with humans without running away, but if they could do that then they were almost guaranteed a carefree life, the one thing all raccoons desire.
Meanwhile, the foxes were laying their own plans. They were ecstatic that the humans were allowing them to build so close, and that the raccoons were being as predictable and gullible as always. Sure, the foxes would have to keep to themselves for a while but when the raccoon's greed overcomes the humans' supply then they'll both be begging the foxes for food, and they'll both be in the palm of their paws. Ideally, the raccoons will get so accustomed to having as much food as they like that they'll try getting more than their fair share, leading to conflict with the humans. Then the humans would go to war with them, and the foxes can strike against the victors when their numbers are diminished, then foxes can take their rightful place as dominant species. It even seemed that their concern for the other animals was unfounded, as they were all too stupid to know what to do. From henceforth, this day would be known amongst foxes as the Year of the Kitsune.
That is, until a previously unknown and entirely unexpected variable would enter the equation to put a stop to the fox's plan, and cause havoc amongst all those involved.

The Tanuki and the Kitsune- part one

*rustle, rustle*
The raccoon was drinking from a bowl of milk left by the humans in a small village.  Food had become scarcer since the Calamity, but there were always generous humans looking out for the species less capable of fending for themselves.
'Tan Tan Tanuki no kintama wa'
The raccoon had been spotted, as the song came from a nearby window.  Looking up cautiously, the raccoon saw a small girl at the window looking at him.  She seemed happy, but the raccoon would be ready to run if anyone came any closer.  It carefully carried on drinking from the bowl.
'Kaze mo nai no ni'
The raccoon suddenly perked up.  Something felt wrong, like a wave of energy was heading towards it from the west. As it turned to face whatever it was, the force of magic hit it, and it started transforming.
'but still they swing, swing, swi-'
The girl gasped, as now in front of her there was a naked rather chubby man with slightly brown striped skin turned away from her.  The man heard her, shocked at being able to understand her song for the first time since the humans started singing it, and turned to face her in wide-eyed surprise.  The girl's mother appeared at the window, and on seeing the man quickly covered her daughter's eyes as she shrieked at seeing how the Tanuki swings.  The raccoon-man quickly ran off, taking the bowl of milk with him though splashing the contents everywhere.


As he hurried back to his burrow, the raccoon's mind was racing.
'What will they think?  Why am I human?  How do I convince them that I'm actually a raccoon?  Will they run from me?'
He reached his burrow, and quickly clawed his way in, completely oblivious to the fact that he had in fact turned back into raccoon shape on his way back.  Inside, there was another human with strange markings that filled the entire burrow, unable to move, with no sign of the rest of his family.  The raccoon's first instinct was 'human- run!' completely forgetting he was a human not a moment before.  He got outside, not listening to the muffled cries for help from the human inside, but was approached by his father who attempted to calm him down.  He directed him to the rest of his family, some of whom were in humanoid form with the others looking at them carefully.  He also noticed his brothers digging at the entrance to the burrow, presumably trying to make the opening big enough for the human inside to escape, who he now realised was his nephew.  All were clueless as to what had happened, as the raccoon told the others of how he was drinking at the human village and could suddenly understand the human child when he transformed.  It was decided they would try to get more information the next day.


The night passed relatively uneventfully, though there were unusual shouts from the nearby fields that sounded like cries for help but the raccoons would not be able to help them, so didn't bother trying.  They had all managed to return to their raccoon forms that they were more comfortable with, but were strangely aware of how to turn human if needed.
On waking, they had their usual several hour waking up and eating session, using their human forms to help reach some berries and fruits.  Afterwards they held a family meeting to decide what to do next.  It didn't go well, as they were constantly getting distracted, but eventually they came to the consensus that the raccoon that was most comfortable around humans would go to the village pretending to be one of them to get more information, which he reluctantly agreed to.
On arriving at the human village, he saw it was much busier than usual, with many humans he didn't recognise.  He was wearing an old sheet the raccoons had been using as bedding that barely covered his whole body, and a straw hat to cover his face that they had found in a nearby field- probably dropped by a human in their panic.  He was a bundle of nerves, and having seen what humans do when they look nervous he did what they would- head to the bar.  Sure enough, the bar was busier than anywhere else in the village, though he still managed to pick up a bottle of rice wine, which he took a gulp of and already felt more confident.  He walked out, still carrying the sake which he didn't realise he had to pay for, but luckily in the chaos then no-one was paying particular attention.  He headed to the largest gathering of people, some he recognised though many he didn't who had longer and thinner faces than most humans he had seen.  The elder of the village noticed him and seemed slightly taken aback by the raccoon's appearance.  He looked to one of the long-faced humans who smiled and nodded back.
'Remarkable...' said the elder, 'I'm guessing you're here representing the raccoons?'
The raccoon was suddenly terrified again, and took another swig of his stolen sake.
'Wh-wh-wh-how do you mean?' he said trying to calm himself.  'How do you know I'm a raccoon?'
'Hm, the attire gives it away somewhat,' said the long-faced man as the raccoon looked down at his sheet.  The man gracefully stepped towards the raccoon, shaking his hand.  'Of course, we are firm friends are we not?  I, Hikaru of the Kitsune, and you, Taichi of the Tanuki.  I was just telling our dear human friend here that we had agreed to announce our transforming skill to them, now that all animals are getting in on the act.'  The fox-man spread his arm, indicating much of the rest of the crowd who had strange markings similar to other animals.  The raccoon was thoroughly perplexed, having no idea what this strange person was going on about.  Hikaru turned to the human again, though keeping his arm wrapped around the raccoon's shoulder.  'Please, if you do not mind I would like to discuss some things with my raccoon friend.  Please excuse us.'  And with that, the fox led the raccoon away to the library building.  The raccoon followed in a trance, hoping someone would tell him what was going on and why he had suddenly been named as 'Taichi'.
As the pair entered the library, the fox shut the door behind them so they would have some privacy.  'Taichi' noticed a bulge on the back of Hikaru, evidence of a tail being covered over by clothing.  The fox did his strange gleeful leap again as he came to the side of the raccoon.
'I give you raccoons less credit than you're due, it seems!  Dressing like those folk drawings, they probably think you're a prophet now!'  Hikaru looked carefully at Taichi as the raccoon still looked utterly perplexed.  'On the other hand... you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?'  the raccoon shook his head, and the fox sighed as he reached for a nearby book.  'Look at this.  Here is a drawing of us- the kitsune and the tanuki.  The humans seem to have believed that we could transform for thousands of years, though obviously we couldn't- but they don't need to know that.'  He turned the page.  'This is you, the tanuki- see?  The shawl, the straw hat, even the bottle of sake and the, er, lack of modesty.'  Taichi looked down.  Hikaru turned the page again.  'And this is me- a kitsune.  Apparently we're intensely magical, and could probably get the humans to do whatever we want if we keep up the illusion- as far as the humans are concerned, we've always been able to do this, right?  Follow my lead, and we'll go far.  We just need to do something about the other animals that can transform now...'

Creation of a Myth

After the tragedy of the Calamity, many years passed allowing the humans to rebuild their lives, many returning to a primitive tribal system.  Of course, it did not take long before problems arose once more, as some humans believed the world should be rebuilt to its former glory, with cities and advanced technology, whereas others believed the Gods punishment was due to that very reason, and the creation of cities and technology resulted in a lack of belief.  Things soon escalated into a civil war of sorts, but before events could get too out of hand then strange things started to happen.  It all started at the site of one of the ruined cities, where two men- a father and son- and their dog were scavenging for items in the wreckage.

'Father... why are we doing this?' asked the younger, poking a piece of rubble with a metal pole as his dog sniffed around.

'What do you mean, son?'

'This salvaging- do you not fear for the wrath of the Gods again?  That is the reason why the cities were destroyed in the first place...'

The older man laughed derisively.
'Don't be a fool, boy- yes the Gods destroyed the cities, but that's because we didn't believe in them.  We've seen them now, we'll believe them forever.'

'Yes, but I haven't seen them- it happened before I was born.  In a couple of generations time people will just think it's a story, a metaphor for an earthquake or something.  It's a bad idea to rebuild the cities because things will go back to the way they were before.'

'I still say you're speaking nonsense Adam, keep looking for those goods- we could be rich with just one working cd player, especially if we find some audio books we can sell as historical records!'

The young man threw down his pole, causing his dog to stop and back off to the side.  A flock of birds cleared a nearby tree that had grown from the city's remains, and landed nearby to watch.

'I refuse.  Already you're talking of making money from a disaster, it's just not right!  It goes against God's will!'

'Hah, God's will, it took them thousands of years to do anything before- why should things be different this time?  Live for the present, make a bit of money now and the trouble our sons get into in a few thousand years time is their problem.'

The dog started growling at the tension rising between the two, as Adam's anger was rising- thinking about all the trouble his father had put him through in the past, and incensed at how he would be willing to inflict this misery on his descendants- his own flesh and blood.  His father had lived in a life of luxury before the disaster, and now he knew more about technology than anyone else in their 'tribe' he was abusing the knowledge for his own ends.  He would lead this tribe to ruin if he continued, and if too many tribes fall then so would the future of civilisation.  Adam reached for the pole he had dropped, anger in his eyes.  His father had to be stopped.

'What do you plan on doing with that, boy?  You would pick your god of destruction over your old man, who just wants to bring life back to the world?'

All Adam could do was let out a scream of rage as he charged at his father, tears streaming from his eyes as he held the pole in front of him like a spear.  His father didn't bother trying to dodge, merely reaching for something in his pocket.  The dog started to run towards them.

'Technology means progress kid, and progress means success.' said the father with a sigh as he pulled the trigger on his pistol.  As the shot rang out, the dog barked with a commanding tone, almost as if shouting 'Stop!' as he leapt between the two, grabbing the pole in his jaw and taking the bullet before falling to the floor and sliding into a pile of rubble.  Both men immediately ran to the dog's side, forgetting their rivalry for a brief moment.  Much to their surprise, the dog was nowhere to be found- instead lay a naked man, with oddly coloured skin that seemed remarkably similar to the dog's markings.  Adam was first to speak.

'What the hell was that?  You have technology that can turn animals to men?!'

His father was just as perplexed.

'No- it's just a gun... all they do is cause injury...'

The man that a moment ago was their dog coughed before speaking weakly.

'What... happened?' he said with the last of his breath.

All the two men could do was look at each other in shock, until one of the birds that had been watching stepped forward.  It was a large black raven, until the moment it too transformed into a large black man- a relatively smooth transition despite this being the bird's first attempt.  The other birds in its flock were also transforming, with varying degrees of success.  The raven twitched it's head a couple of times before attempting to speak.

'I... I think I can explain...'

The two humans were too much in shock to interrupt.

'I think... this is the Gods' work again.  Long have we ravens been associated with deities, so we have gained a sense for detecting when their magic is in the air, and there's certainly a lot of that here- more than even the Calamity.  I cannot speak directly on their behalf, but if I were to guess, I would say they do not want to risk the fall of humanity again- so upon witnessing a fight between father and son, and an animal's desire not to see either injured, they had to step in.  Causing my present form, and I'd guess similar has happened elsewhere- giving a voice to those otherwise unheard.'

'You... you can talk?'  asked Adam's father in bewilderment, as Adam stared at the other birds struggling with their new forms.  Some were phasing between human and bird, others had found a weird hybrid form.

'It is as much a mystery to me as it is you, as you were talking gibberish a moment ago but now I share your form then we also would appear to share languages.  This is a little too much to comprehend at the moment... we should return to our homes and see how things are tomorrow.  I would gladly accompany you to your human settlement though, as witness to today's events.'

Taking their humanoid dog, the humans agreed to take the raven with them and did indeed see that similar scenes of chaos were happening everywhere.  Cows, sheep and horses in fields were all varying degrees of human/animal hybrid and in a state of confusion, and the chaos only got worse when they returned to their village.  Some small humanoids were running out of a building with a fruit basket as they were being beaten with a broom, others were huddled together as humans cried in fear of them.  The two men and the humanoid bird entered the village, causing some of the chaos to lessen as the villagers and animals could see the dead dog being carried between them.  The highest priority would be burying the animal, and then they would try to make some sense of the situation...

...the consequences of which will be covered next week, when the timeline will be fast-forwarded a few more years.

Religious Musings

This following blog will be regarding religion, a touchy subject for many but I'll try not to offend anyone on my third post on this site...  Mostly this will just be speculative fiction, with lots of 'what if's.

These friday blogs are primarily meant to be annotations on my other blogs, particularly my wednesday blog, the last of which had strong religious themes that don't necessarily reflect my true opinion.  In reality, the gods in my story were used as a narrative device and I don't intend on them featuring any other time in my story, apart from perhaps next week when I explain the origins of the more fantastic races in my setting.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that my story is set in the future of this world, and although I mention that humanity had lost it's faith, you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise at the present time when the news is dominated by stories of muslim terrorists, american extreme christians, and mayan prophecies; but as explored in American Gods by Neil Gaiman, many worship technologies and tradition for traditions sake rather than the core philosophies of respective religions and their origins.
It is implied that every God that exists or has ever existed is present in my setting, with appearances from the big bearded man in the sky to the warriors dripping with blood in the jungles, and everything in between.  However, if a god is truly omnipotent then they could easily manifest themselves as all of these at once, and could just be doing it as a point that no religion can be proved or disproved, so forget about the man and concentrate on the idea.  Generally a good idea for those that believe in goodwill to all men and being generally nice to each other, not so much for those that believe god must be appeased with regular ritual sacrifice.  I hope that this is the message that whatever god there is in reality wants to be conveyed, and the fact I just received a large tax rebate may enforce the fact that they approve of me acting prophet...  Although I am also ill at the moment as well as having cut my tongue on a throat lozenge, so perhaps not.
I also believe that the humans' response to this is entirely within the realms of probability.  I can't see everyone accepting that all religions are true, and there will be hundreds of people trying to dismiss it as some form of propaganda or aliens or something.  I see no flaw in the gods' method- surely everyone will unite in peace and harmony if they see that in a way, everyone's right so we can get on with life.  But humans are unpredictable, and we know it would instead cause chaos, which could well be why no gods have revealed their presence thus far in real life.  In my experience, atheists are stubborn and would dismiss it as a hoax, agnostics wouldn't know what to believe with everything going on, and believers wouldn't want to admit they wasted their lives believing in something false- perhaps making them the most dangerous, as they try to make up for the things they were forbidden to do in their previous belief system.
Another product of all gods existing simultaneously, or being one and the same, would mean that the 'evil' gods still exist too which is where the apocalyptic aspect comes in.  Think of all those blood-soaked jungle gods, Loki, Set, and the various destroyers all rolled into one and how they would respond to being ignored by humans- especially once the 'good' gods have allowed them to do as they wish.  I see the gods as wanting to create a clean slate, meaning exterminating the parasites currently infesting the planet- though those level-headed enough to believe the evidence in front of their own eyes would be spared, much like Noah (the similarities have only just struck me...).  In this new world, the animals without a voice would have their place as well- it has long been thought that those that can't object either lack the capacity to know what is happening, or don't care, but I do not believe this is the case which is why another fundamental theme of all my stories is giving animals a voice.  Not all embrace this gift, as you will see next week, but will those that learn of their new power use it as intended, to speak out against oppression and express their gratitude in words, or abuse it to take control as humans once did?
At this point, I feel the need to say that I'm not an insane animal rights campaigner, and that many animals look like they do enjoy being around humans (dogs, cats, horses etc.) and some look like they probably do lack the mental faculties to experience the pain that we would feel in their situation (cows, fish etc.).  But that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions.
I'm not sure what else I can add without offending people, so I'll leave with my own religious belief.  I'm not affiliated with any organised religion, as they have all done wrong in the past and any religion that worships 'human' prophets isn't for me- whether the prophet is Jesus, Mohammed, the Dalai Lama, or whatever.  There may well be a god or many gods, but they have a whole universe to run and probably aren't concerned with a tiny insignificant race on a small blue planet.  As it is, I'm content to believe that the universe just sort of happened, but am happy to speculate on the possibility of gods.

On wednesday next week, I will continue the origin story with how my fantasy races came to be, and friday I will hopefully enlighten you on real-world origins of some fantasy creatures and why I picked them for my novel.